BitchlessBilliesBlogs

I like to pretend people are scared of me... like i intimdate them with just a look or something. I know when people tell me i scare them theyre joking, but i still brag about it. I guess i just like to feel like i cant be fucked with, or like people respect me enough to know not to. Very much not the case though, because if it were they wouldnt keep doing it. People say hurtful things and then apologize profusely like they think im gonna hurt them, or at least thats how i like to think about it, but i know its actually that they think they hurt me. I keep thinking about how fucked up i am, and then cringing because when i phrase it that way it makes it sound like i think im traumatized or edgy or some shit, when by fucked up i just mean i feel like i wasnt built right. I finally found a better word. Im a botched person. #bleh

Fuuuuuck, holy fucking shit you guys my life is not cool enough!!!! I do nothing! I do nothing and i dont know what to do about it! Ive always wanted to be a main character but that movie would have such horrible reviews. Holy shit. I dont know what to do because how the hell do i make my life more cinematic when i cant cut out the boring parts and i never do anything dramatic enough to feel like fiction?! This kind of ties back to that thing about how i need to take a risk... On top of that i need more follow through. I wish my life could have a soundtrack, and ive made plenty, but unfortunately thats not the same thing. I dont want to be watched, i just want to be watchable. I saw this guy i cant decide how to feel about on spotlight (tik tok is too slow and ruins music, and i made the mistake of following too many cat accounts on instagram so now thats all i see on reels) and he said he tells his kids when they say theyre bored "then youre being boring." Or something, whic...

 So, im not really sure what to post about, usually i just start by writing smth and the rest just happens bc its where my mind goes. I questioned my friendship with my best friend again, and im awaiting an argument with my other because either its just a natural step to becoming closer friends, or its how our relationship will end. Either way, im waiting. I had a dream last night where me and my cousin had a conversation about video games and i earned his respect but then i immediately lost it by accidentally breaking one of his video games. My plants are doing really fucking well, but im concerned bc i need to thin them out asap but i dont want them to die if the last frost hasnt passed Also i dont know how to take care of plants tbh. I dont want to be here... Im so tired, but i know im fine, im just drained bc ive been socializing and then also arguing with my bsf, and my other sorta half friend was being nosy, and caffiene just isnt working. Also ive trying to be productive, an...

(Disclaimor: i ran this by chatGPT for spelling, puncuation, and gramatical errors, and to make it so its paced better. And that even though i reread it, and know it changed something and i didnt like it, but dont remember what it was and cant find it again to fix it, i still posted this.) I worry I sound kinda bonkers sometimes. It’s not totally inconceivable that maybe I just am a little off my rockers, but who cares? I’ll tell you who cares: me! I care! Billie cares! I saw a post on Snapchat Spotlight the other day that said “that one person who always follows your friend group around,” and the sound was basically screaming “stop!” There was a comment that said “fr, she thinks people like her,” and another that said “he talks to himself.” (I’m paraphrasing.) Here’s the thing—I was probably that person. I used to follow my best friend around like a lost puppy. She always had other friends, and I was just tagging along in the back being quiet. And I felt stupid as fuck. When I get anx...

 Uggggghhhhhh... ok so for some reason i cant leave comments on my own posts, so i just wanted to say, i appreciate feedback, im very new to this, and havent had many viewers, but the only comment ive gotten so far was not at all constructive, so if youre gonna say negative things, thats fine, but please explain so i actually have the chance to improve. But yes, i understand that probably their goal wasnt to be helpful.

Sooo, a while back i started learning guitar. I may only know like 15 basic chords and like three barre chords, and dont remember any if the songs ive learned, but does it really matter? I mean, the only reason i still use my guitar is to make loud noise at this point and i can do that whether it sounds good or not. I mean i do. A lot. Its basically a fidgit toy at this point. But then again its also my unatainable life goal to be in a garage band. The problem with that is i dont like people, public performance, or own decent instruments except for the acoustic guitar i bought in fourth grade after saving up for like a year.  My rich grandpa gave us each like 100 bucks every christmas, plus my grandma, grandpa, dad, mom, and maybe my aunt but i cant remember, each gave me between 10 and 20 dollars for my birthday a few months later, and i scammed the fuck out of my siblings by buying snacks with the ebt card and selling them back so they didnt have to walk to the store, so it wasnt...

Guys how the hell do i read other peoples blogs

 I just gotta say two things real quick: 1. Drew gooden is so so underated as a comentary youtuber, like danny's awesome, but drew is better. And 2. Im having a lot of fun writing these, no ones read any yet, but you guys (asin my future fans) are like my diary, but the kind that will hopefully be mean as hell to you about all the bullshit you spout. Love you guys, or at least im sure you have the potential to be loved <3 - Billie, or bill, or whatever, its not my real name, call me what you want.