BitchlessBilliesBlogs

 Guys, i think i lost my one fan 😕 Ig i dont really know who im talking to then, but still.

 My sister said that she thinks its dumb people are mad at people for celebrating charlie kirks death because "objectively, removing a negative thing from the world makes it a better place" But for one thing, as far as we know, right and wrong cant be objective. Also, objectively we cant calculate whether more negativity was removed by charlie kirk dying than was added by the act and promotion of gun violance. So the world could be worse off anyway, and therefore that was just an invalid argument in my opinion. But i personally did not fucking like charlie kirk. I just think it was not "objectively" right to kill him. Not that its objectively wrong either. Just that we cant measure its impact as well as some of us might like to believe. Though i suppose that applies to almost every action. But i appreciate that were talking about it. These conversations are important to have. Dont be an asshole in public if you dont wanna risk extra exposure to more people who will ...

 So... i think a lot of us share the goal to put good out into the world. Sometimes for religious reasons. Sometimes for moral reasons. Sometimes because we want that good to come back to us. But we want to make a positive impact nonetheless. Only, it seems a lot of people, me included, only do the right thing when its super convenient. We dont usually go out of our way to make things better. Me, personally, i just dont know how i can do good. I mean i try to be nice to people, but i dont try to talk to poeple... I try to eat ethically, but i slip a lot... like i havent reeeaaally eaten meat in years, but like a few months ago i ate a mcdonalds french fry, knowing damn well they have animal fat in them... I bit into a meat burrito on accident because i got a beam burrito and my brother got a meat one from taco bell, and they werent labelled, so i guessed, and i feel bad about that, especially because when i did realize it was meat i just spit it out instead of eating it. Buuut, luc...

 My own personal guilty pleasures: songs im oddly ashamed of loving: - dancing - aaron smith, luvli, krono - stitches - shawn mendez - dont - ed sheerin - anything my older sibling likes, especially if they liked it first - extacy of gold - ennio moricone, gustavo santaolalla This song just feels so climactic - a bunch of phonk music - like a drug - brkn love - beetlejuice chill - life after youth Ok but this song is actually so good, but why is it called that? - alone - nico collins - not ok - robert grace I associate this song with this one cringy ass character from this show i dont even remember the name of, the acting was soo bad, but i fucking love this song. - where do i sign - weathers This song makes me feel cooler than it should 😐 - cool kids - echosmith This is just nostolgic, shut up, its tied to this very specific memory i have of these guys me and my siblings that dont seem to exist anymore. For those of you who also have songs theyre ashamed of listening to, remember...

 I had a dream where me and my family went on vacation and brought my sisters cat with us, who died on the vacation. Because of this we decided to go home early and bury him, but me and my sister started arguing in the car so my sister threw his corpse at me.

 Songs i wanna dance with my s/o in an empty ballroom wearing a poofy blue dress: this is for those of you who like classical/classical adjacent songs: - Serenade for strings in e major - antonín dvořák - River flows into you - yiruma - Tchaicovski - swan lake - ballerina - yehezkel raz On youtube theres a picture of a ballerina as the thumbnail of this song, and i wanted to draw it, so i listened to this song like 17 times in a row because i just wanted the ballerina to stay big and i didnt want the restart button thing covering it - experience - ludovico einaudi - beethovens 5th symphony - uh... beethoven - this is what autumn feels like - jvke This is the more "adjacent" stuff i was talking about...  I know i dont need a backstory for everything, but this made me really happy and i need to share it... one time my best friend said this song "like just is" me, she said it felt "very auburn" and said it "just is you" and to this day, that is the ...

 So, this thursdayish had approached and i need to make a post that isnt my musicish monday series which i can only do on mondays anyway, or my dream series because that doesnt count, thats basically just a short story. However im not sure what else to post about... Im a fucking failure. We know that. Im trying, but i still feel like shit all the time. Thats been discussed. I dont know how to friend. I asked my friend if i annoy her yesterday and she said no so now i think shes either a liar or a bad judge of character. Ive never had sex (hense the nickname "bitchless billie"), but thats something i do wanna do at some point, just not with someone i dont like, and i think i should probably get like some sort of pregnancy prevention type of thing because i refuse to force another human to exist, especially in the current state of the world, and especially with the wrong person, so gotta either do something about that, or just commit to staying a virgin. Not that its bad to be ...

 So... i just had a dream, and it was the kind where youre not a character in the dream just a spectator watching the characters, where the world was sort of in the beggining of becoming a distopia... Everyone stole everything, but would also leave a bunch of trash on random peoples lawns. You had to be inside by the time it got dark or someone would almost definetely steal you. You had to know all the signs of weather changes so you can find shelter before you almost definetly get caught in some kind of disastrous weather. The main character was some kid who shared a room with his little sister. He would frequently have his best friend over and his friend would frequently have mutual friends over. It was late, just getting dark and the main character was outside looking through todays collection of trash with his best friend and one of their friends, and he found several books, but only picked up the ones that looked interesting. His older brother was also out there and he kept te...