Smokey eyes - lincoln

 So, im not really sure what to post about, usually i just start by writing smth and the rest just happens bc its where my mind goes.

I questioned my friendship with my best friend again, and im awaiting an argument with my other because either its just a natural step to becoming closer friends, or its how our relationship will end. Either way, im waiting.

I had a dream last night where me and my cousin had a conversation about video games and i earned his respect but then i immediately lost it by accidentally breaking one of his video games.

My plants are doing really fucking well, but im concerned bc i need to thin them out asap but i dont want them to die if the last frost hasnt passed

Also i dont know how to take care of plants tbh.

I dont want to be here...

Im so tired, but i know im fine, im just drained bc ive been socializing and then also arguing with my bsf, and my other sorta half friend was being nosy, and caffiene just isnt working.

Also ive trying to be productive, and giving myself less excuses not to be.

Funny cause i feel like i havent gotten shit done.

Idk... ive been having a bit of a creative block.

I dont want to go to therapy, and im dreading it more than i need to bc its sunday now, and therapy is on tuesday, so...

What do you do when youre pretty sure youre in love woth someone, and youre pretty sure theyre not into but cant be sure bc you are to them what your ex who was your friend at one point was to you and i liked her back, but i wouldve never told her that, if she hadnt confessed first?

Idk man, feelings are hard.

So is having multiple friends at the same time. Coordinating shit is so exhausting.

Especially when they dont like each other, and one of them has other friends who she most definetely prioritzes over you, but makes excuses instead of telling you bc if you leave shell need a new plan b, but youre not sure if you can leave bc you dont have proof of that and youre not just an icky blen of insecure and paranoid.

Idk, can anyone else relate?

Ive come to the realization that i have a type, which i kinda dont like.

But at least its a good type. At least the things they all had in common is being extremely nice and smart and gets my sense of humor, and is willing to have a serious conversation.

But the thing is i always seem to click with them immediately and then we never fight until we do and its usually the last fight we ever have.

Anyway its like 3 pm but im gonna sleep now, sorry for just venting instead of saying anything youd care to hear.

See ya, maybe, probably, but not literally.

- Billie

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

6 strings and a pick

Sooo, a while back i started learning guitar. I may only know like 15 basic chords and like three barre chords, and dont remember any if the songs ive learned, but does it really matter? I mean, the only reason i still use my guitar is to make loud noise at this point and i can do that whether it sounds good or not. I mean i do. A lot. Its basically a fidgit toy at this point. But then again its also my unatainable life goal to be in a garage band. The problem with that is i dont like people, public performance, or own decent instruments except for the acoustic guitar i bought in fourth grade after saving up for like a year.  My rich grandpa gave us each like 100 bucks every christmas, plus my grandma, grandpa, dad, mom, and maybe my aunt but i cant remember, each gave me between 10 and 20 dollars for my birthday a few months later, and i scammed the fuck out of my siblings by buying snacks with the ebt card and selling them back so they didnt have to walk to the store, so it wasnt...
Read more

Why i dont believe in science

Idgaf what weve "proven", people dont get to tell me what to believe. because i feel like everyone acts like youre an idiot for believing in astrology, and while, yeah, im sure its full of bullshit, their version isnt any better. I dont, for a second, believe in the shit other earthlings who like just now got to earths moon, tell me about other planets and stars lightyears away. Like, bitch have you ever been to that planet? No. So then how can you tell me what gravitys like there? How do you know its made of this element we have on earth just from what it looks like when, for all we know, if you actually get close it could literally be trillions of microscopic little bugs forming that whole planet? It could have entirely different properties and be an entirely different thing we as born and raised earthlings couldnt begin to comprehend. But we just assume we know, because scientists tell us, when all theyre really telling us is their best guess, which can not be that accurat...
Read more

Hello. Im not who i say i am.

Just to kick things off, id like to say my name isnt actually Billie Bitchless–but wouldnt it be unfortunate (though accurate) if my last name were in fact Bitchless? But no, it isnt. Lucky me. I wont be sharing my real name, as that shouldnt be of any relevence to you creeps. I will however tell you this... nothing i say will really be of any relevence to you unless you find it relatable in which case, much like me, you probably either hate yourself, or the world you live in. So have fun reading my unpunctuates rants about it dumbfucks! 🖕🖕🖕 (im not this disrespectful in real life, but you shouldnt be getting hurt over something so totally impersonal, fake, and that you can access using a url.) Bitchless forever, Bill <3
Read more