Posts

My daily mantra

 So, i think ive decided on a daily mantra: Everything: - ends (I neednt worry as everything, no matter how bad, isnt permanent. it may last a while, maybe even my whole life, but unless theres an afterlife, it should stop when i die, and quite possibly before then, should i tough it out.) - i do takes self control (Everything, no matter how easy, from getting out of bed in the morning to killing someone takes will, we cant move without forcing ourselves to. We might as well force ourselves to move in the rightest directions possible) - i do takes faith (Leaving your house everyday can result in getting struck by lightning, or kidnapped and tortured and eventually brutally murdered, and the person who killed you might never be caught...  its unlikely doing something that scares me will result in something this catastrophic. I still leave the house everyday, despite that possibility.) - is fine (Nothing is just about me, in general, everything is fine, even though i might not b...

please help this catch on:

please help this catch on! abrecious - (adjective) possesses a positive qaulity in a negative way Eg, "shes so charming, she could get away with anything. What an abrecious bitch." Eg. Toxic positivity Or Possesses a negative trait in a positive way Eg. "His voice is so annoying, but it weirdly suits him. Hes so abrecious sometimes." I just really want to be responsible for inventing a word

weekly life update

I feel as though i might be too apologetic, and dont have confidence in the things i say, and i think thats something i have to work on. I mean if im not confident about it, why am i saying it, right? As Jeff Winger from Community said "be sorry before you do it, and then dont do it!" I did notice after posting them that my posts tend to be a bit formulaic, and i assume thats predictable and therefore boring. Predictability can also be comforting, but thats not reaaaally exactly what im going for. But i guess i dont really know exactly what i am going for... Here are things to note about my week: - Ive decided to start eating less animal products. I already didnt eat meat, but i think i should also cut back on the biproducts, especially from unethical sources. - i had an argument with someone on reddit and i feel like i couldve been nicer, but they were pissing me off. They made one argument that basically other people had it worse so i should be grateful, but i fucking hate ...
 I hope my one fan is still here when i get good at this shit

Trees II - mccafferty

 "I need you more than you need me" just hit too hard, a lot like how in smokey eyes by lincoln he says "theres nothing worse than making friends". Those two lyrics perfecrly describe how im feeking about all my friends right now. Holy fuck it is exhausting trying to maintain relationships when i can barely maintain my sleep schedule. I almost started crying when i was telling my therapist about it, which was embaressing as hell. I dont care if shes a professional feelings net, if you see my cry, im gonna have the urge to kill you. But its actually so fucking painful knowing my friends would probably ditch me if their partner of enough months asked them to. Like... People just put too much stock into romantic relationships, even though its the platonic ones that are there to help you clean up when those become an entire mess. But, and this is obviously my fault, i dont have a lot of friends of my own. I can only have like two at a time. I have two right now and im r...

Dream

 Recently i had a dream where this rich guy who owned everything built (or hired someone to build) a gigantic robot so he could destroy all the property he didnt own and people would have to buy property from him. Naturally me and my family felt like it was our personal responsibility to stop him, but naturally we failed spectacularly, almost immediately. What do you think that means? -billie 😪😴

why am i doing this?

So, someone on reddit, god bless them, gave me actual feedback about my blogs, that actually helps me, and im really grateful for that. They kinda asked me a question that i dont know the answer to and that is "why am i doing this?" To answer that question, this started out as me trying to find a way to make easy pocket change, but i didnt end up following through on monetizing it. Like if that was even an option anyway. I still had fun though, so i kept doing it. Three examples that person gave was "improving my writing", "a journaling excersize", or "making comedic rants". All of those and the possibility of gaining a like minded audience who can relate to, and maybe gain something from, the things i say, i think. And just something to do. I realize i dont make the things i write all that readable, i tend to write them the way i think them, so it comes out a bit messy, but ill work on it. However i wont edit the things ive already written. I li...

Short story: Wintelnina

 There once was a plant named wintelnina (or winnie, as she was often reffered to) after its owner, wendy's, favorite book character. They lived happily in a small apartment together with wendy's boyfriend of two years, Andy. Winnie was quite content for those two years, wendy took good care of her, she did. She watered her every day and extra when it was hot, she pruned it when it needed pruning, she kept the bugs off of it, and she always spoke to it like it was the most beautiful thing in the world. Always. Until one hot summer day when.. she didnt. Winnie of course couldnt see where her owner had gone, but she knew where she was, for she had been telling andy about it all morning. He spoke back in short confirmations of processed like "mhmm" and "i hear you." But wintelnina could hear the flipping of magazine pages coming from where shed normally hear the scraping of forks against plates or the stirring of hot liquids. Wendy scoffed and all wintelnina co...