BitchlessBilliesBlogs

 Usually I post around Thursdayish's, but i wont be posting this thursdayish because i have decided to unplug for a minute, just to see how it affects my mood and stuff. Plus it wouldnt hurt to go outside or, practice self contr, or learn how to entertain myself or be creative for a few minutes. Ill probably still make the musicish monday #4 post, unless i decide i dont like the playlist i made in advance because ive been debating it for the past three weeks since i made it and wont have access to my spotify in order to figure out a better one. Either way, ill be back, probably, almost certainly. Im very week. So. Like, probably dont chew on chords that are plugged into appliances that are actively being used. - billie.

 Soundtraculous: makes you feel like a main character if you listen to them at the right times Way it goes - hippo campus This would be great if youre like driving down a long slightly curved country road on your way to the house you just moved into Turn it away - quarters of change Like if youre on your way to a club looking snazzy Close one - dlg. Classic montage song Heroes - david bowie Like the tunnel scene in "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" All black - good charlotte For when a bully whos rich and owns a cool car is approaching you to call you a chump and a loser Insomniac - memo boy I think the video pretty much sums it up Let me know if anyone has any requests for themes and or songs, im gonna run out eventually so this would be very helpful. I would advise against calling the cops when you get lonely - billie

 As dumb as this is, it still blows my mind that no one else can hear my thoughts. Its a cave and everything that gets let go just bounces around unless of course you create an opening, and i seem to just always create several openings instead of just letting myself sit with my thoughts for a few. So... Im gonna shut up for a minute. Dont say things you dont want people to hear unless youre ok with the potential risk of other people hearing it. -billie

 Alr... im just gonna have a quick lil midnight existential/midlife (if i die at like 40 like i plan on) chrisis... you can ignore me... Guys... what the fuck is wrong with me???? I do... Nothing. Im. so. Useless. I cant remember the last time ive learned something. I cant commit to anything, so i start shit i never finish and gain nothing from. My room is a fucking mess, i keep all my old decvices so one day, when i learn about computors and shit, i can do something with them... I convinced myself id learn by trial and error. What the hell is wrong with me??? I feel like im turning into a mix of my hoarder dad and my sibling who cant even get through a book. I feel so fucking stupid. Mind you, all of this started from the random burst of inspiration i got from watching that episode of Clarence where Clarence and Sumo got suspended, and then i realized i have no where to put that inspiration because i will never commit to anything i want to learn and none of it will ever serve anyo...

 Flowers in your hair by the lumineers is such a good song to dance like an idiot to in your room

 Ahhhhhh!!!! Holy fucking shit, everyone is so so fucking stupid its insane! Not literally, not everyone, but anyone who believes in time travel i think. Before we get into that im gonna point out, i can be stupid too. For the longest time i thought it was stupid to not believe in aliens because in our vast, possibly infinite universe, theres got to be more intelligent life than us somewhere, and believing thats impossible is just arrogant. But then only recently, i realize how fucking insane it is that we even exist in the first place, how highly coincidental that is. It seems highly unlikely that it would happen once, let alone multiple times. Its like if you have a circle, and a very very small portion of it is shaded in, and you throw a rock, and it lands in thar shaded portion, its even less likely that youre gonna get it in there again, even if youre aiming for it (cause rocks bounce).  And the universe isnt aiming for shit, so thats fucking crazy that even we exist, if ...

 - Leave - whirr - Blank - glare - Enough for you - wisp - Cherry waves - deftones - be quiet and drive (far away) - deftones - fade into you - mazzy star - Sextape - deftones - midnight - johny goth - your face - wisp

So, so far it seems I have twoish readers, and I’m wondering why the hell anyone reads this shit. Not that I’m complaining, just wondering. I think I need to redecorate my room. I haven’t since I was like 15. I still live with my mom, ignore that. But it needs more cool shit. It’s got a lot of shit in it, but I think it would be cooler with better shit. Like I’ve bulked, and now I think I mainly need to cut. I know this blog isn’t a home improvement channel, but it is a nothing-specific journal so it’s fine, deal with it. I have a lot of wall posters and paintings my siblings did. I have a hatchet hanging next to the jewelry I don’t wear and the weird card that says "Abigail" on it that my older brother got me for my birthday a couple years ago. I’m not sure why he got me that, my name isn’t Abigail, but I do really like it. I’ve got several books all over a very wobbly desk with two chairs I stole from the kitchen in front of it, and a bin full of random bullshit underneath....

 I know i post things exclusively to tumblr sometimes, but i dont remember what things I sometimes post things exclusively to blogger too Im gonna get a little more organized about that in the future, like ill post shorter things on tumblr and blogs on blogger. Tumblr link: @bitchlessbillie on Tumblr https://www.tumblr.com/bitchlessbillie

 I had another dream where i went to hell. I know i never talked about the other ones, but they werent important. This time it was night and i was on a school bus with people who were just as bad as i was, it was cold, and we all knew why everyone else was there which was embaressing. Its not even like any of us really did anything that bad, it was mostly just that we all felt guilty for things, so kind of like in the show lucifer but different. I guess one of my biggest things was that i supported an artist who did a lot of fucked up things, and i sucked dick once, which didnt actually happen irl, just in the dream. This other dude felt guilty for like, being the reason his parents got divorced as a kid, this one bitch dated her sisters crush. So some of us did shit, but its just that we all felt the same amount of guilt or something. Anyway we kept making stops, and people got off but yours never actually came up, until eventually we got to an enormeous building, and we had to al...

I just realized i didnt mean to put city of angels or night drive on the "shrugish songs" for todays musicish monday. My bad guys. Also, idk why i named them "musicish mondays", i just thought the alliteration was fun, but didnt like "musical mondays" because it made it sound like we were the ones making the music

- Short skirt/long jacket - CAKE - standing outside a broken phone booth with money in my hand - primitive radio gods - Sex and candy - marcy playground - Loving machine - tv girl - Night drive - acoustic - the all american rejects - Lose it - SWMRS - City of angels - 24kgoldn - Dumb song for smart kids - brodie wilson

 Ive decided that every monday im gonna post a short list of songs that match a specific vibe or theme. At least until i run out of songs or themes

 So, i think ive decided on a daily mantra: Everything: - ends (I neednt worry as everything, no matter how bad, isnt permanent. it may last a while, maybe even my whole life, but unless theres an afterlife, it should stop when i die, and quite possibly before then, should i tough it out.) - i do takes self control (Everything, no matter how easy, from getting out of bed in the morning to killing someone takes will, we cant move without forcing ourselves to. We might as well force ourselves to move in the rightest directions possible) - i do takes faith (Leaving your house everyday can result in getting struck by lightning, or kidnapped and tortured and eventually brutally murdered, and the person who killed you might never be caught...  its unlikely doing something that scares me will result in something this catastrophic. I still leave the house everyday, despite that possibility.) - is fine (Nothing is just about me, in general, everything is fine, even though i might not b...

please help this catch on! abrecious - (adjective) possesses a positive qaulity in a negative way Eg, "shes so charming, she could get away with anything. What an abrecious bitch." Eg. Toxic positivity Or Possesses a negative trait in a positive way Eg. "His voice is so annoying, but it weirdly suits him. Hes so abrecious sometimes." I just really want to be responsible for inventing a word

I feel as though i might be too apologetic, and dont have confidence in the things i say, and i think thats something i have to work on. I mean if im not confident about it, why am i saying it, right? As Jeff Winger from Community said "be sorry before you do it, and then dont do it!" I did notice after posting them that my posts tend to be a bit formulaic, and i assume thats predictable and therefore boring. Predictability can also be comforting, but thats not reaaaally exactly what im going for. But i guess i dont really know exactly what i am going for... Here are things to note about my week: - Ive decided to start eating less animal products. I already didnt eat meat, but i think i should also cut back on the biproducts, especially from unethical sources. - i had an argument with someone on reddit and i feel like i couldve been nicer, but they were pissing me off. They made one argument that basically other people had it worse so i should be grateful, but i fucking hate ...

 I hope my one fan is still here when i get good at this shit

 "I need you more than you need me" just hit too hard, a lot like how in smokey eyes by lincoln he says "theres nothing worse than making friends". Those two lyrics perfecrly describe how im feeking about all my friends right now. Holy fuck it is exhausting trying to maintain relationships when i can barely maintain my sleep schedule. I almost started crying when i was telling my therapist about it, which was embaressing as hell. I dont care if shes a professional feelings net, if you see my cry, im gonna have the urge to kill you. But its actually so fucking painful knowing my friends would probably ditch me if their partner of enough months asked them to. Like... People just put too much stock into romantic relationships, even though its the platonic ones that are there to help you clean up when those become an entire mess. But, and this is obviously my fault, i dont have a lot of friends of my own. I can only have like two at a time. I have two right now and im r...