Idk man, part two or something

 So, i feel like i should post something but dont know what to post about, so im just gonna start typing and hope for the best i guess, shit.

I went camping with my deadbeat father and my sisters and my sisters kids, and it was... an event.

I love camping, i love my family, but holy fucking shit they are obnoxious.

Im kind of obsessed with the lyrics from the song "im doing pushups" by bears in trees "now youre hollow as youd always thought youd be, screaming hold my hand but please dont touch me!"

So fucking real.

Because touching people is awkward, but holy shit do i crave affection.

I hugged my nephew the other day, and it was a great hug but im still overthinking it, and never want to do that again.

I hug my sister a lot.

My dad hugs me even though he doesnt wash his hands in the bathroom or after putting his fingers in his mouth and nose and stuff.

I dont want other peoples bodily fluids on me, and that cant be that unreasonable.

I started watching kipo and im a little obsessed with the whole post apocolyptic, eirieness in broad daylight vibes.

And of cource im obsessed with wolf, i love a good broody character who pretends not to care but secretely does.

The girl in linkin park is fine as fuuuuuck! Im really sorry if that sounds creapy or objectifying, but its true. Shes literally gorgeous.

I fucking love the violin! I need to learn it but will not be wasting money on an instrument im probably gonna give up on very quickly.

I wanna learn cello too, but mostly only cause of that one riff in secrets by one republic.

I think i might make a playlist with all my current obsessions that i update weekly or something, and post the link here, but i feel like that would be pointless and kind of a waste of time.

But holy fuck im obssessed with so many songs right now and i fucking neeeed to talk about them!!!! Or share them, or something! Anything! 😫😭

My room is such a fucking mess bro. Im a disgusting ass person, and i fucking hate myself.

Im literally sleeping on a towel because i have no clean blankets or bedsheets.

Camping didnt help, because i tend to overpack for things, and i wasted a bunch of laundry.

Plus my mom likes to put laundry in the washer and then leave and im not sure what to do with it, and i need the washer, like i dont wanna switch it over because it might need to be rewashed, but i dont wanna rewash it incase it doesnt need it, cause i dont wanna waste water.

But i realized usually she tends to be out long enough that by the time shes back it does need to be rewashed anyway, so i might as well just do it when i need the washer, bc its gonna happen anyway.

Nothing gets me dryer than towels!

No but thats not even true, i mean the sun has been drying me faster recently, that fuckinf bastard.

No but im so grateful for the sun.

I dont know history so this is probably a dumb ass thought, but sometimes i wonder if in ancient cultures that had multiple gods like the sun god and the god of the sea and stuff, maybe we mistranslated blessings to god...?

Like maybe they didnt mean that they were purposely giving us things, but that without them we wouldnt exist, so they are, in ways, our givers and takers of life, and blessing, things to be grateful for, and wish for?

I dont know if that makes any sense, or if that even fits because i do know there is a lot of mythology about it, but sometimes i wonder if the actions they described the gods taking were more analogies, or descriptors, rather than serious beliefs?

Not that im judging either way. Believe what you want.

I like to tell people i believe the earth is flat, and i dont believe in science.

But i really dont believe in science, and ive kinda explained why before. Or at least why i dont believe in astronomy.

"Drop a gear... and disapear..."

sorry, im listening to highway by elusion right now, and i fucking love it.

Once again... im obsessed.

God, im so fucking predictable. I hate it.

I feel like people think im stupid when i say i dont believe in science, but like, people think people who dont believe in god are stupid too...

As aristotle (my fucking hero) said "all i know, is that i know nothing" and that goes for science.

Why does everyong get so pissed about dumb shit like whether or not the earth is flat? Who fucking cares???

I mean id care if the government were lying to us, but we already know they do that, so why else does it matter?

Can the government legally order hits on people?

I probably sound a little nuts right now.

Whatever man.

I want fettucini noodles, preferably with alfredo sause, right now. I dont know why, it just sounds super good rn.

Dude, i was having a thought, and i lost it, and i cant remember what it was, but it had something to do with influence or something, i dont fucking know.

I hate that.

Im sorry, this went nowhere.

Im still gonna post it. Fuck you.

Goodnight. I was supposed to go to sleep several hours ago.

Probably dont commit crimes in front of cops or snitches.

- billie

Ps, is it more ok for me to objectify women a little bit because i am one too, or does that not change anything?

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